Ok. I'm here to set the record straight. When a person says she is afraid of centipedes, she is not referring to this:
She is not referring to this:
And no, not even this:
She is referring to THIS:
Here's his ugly head:
They are about six inches long and they move like snakes only much, much faster.
Now, in the past I have been teased for being a "naturephobe," but let me tell you something. Being afraid of something that looks like this is not an irrational phobia. It is an indication of a strong sense of self preservation and COMMON SENSE. This creature was clearly not created by God. They absolutely are evil spirits clothed in insect flesh. They've obviously crawled out of hell in order to occupy the coffins and rotting corpses of murderers and rapists. If you see one on the wall next to your bed less than two feet from your pillow like I did the other day, you can be sure that they have been sent by Satan in an attempt to drive you into fear induced insanity. Lucky for me, my husband was around to answer my mindless shrieking and he got it in time to save me from the asylum.
So please, PLEASE, don't underestimate the power of these so called "insects." And if you haven't had the misfortune of encountering one of these not-so-subtle reminders of the existence of evil, do not judge those of us who have! Seriously. They are horrible. Trust me. Do I seem like the kind of person who would exaggerate?
4 comments:
I hate those things!! We ordered a rug on line and when I rolled it out one of those guys went looking for a place to hide in my house. I go him before he went too far. I just saw another one, a bigger one, this morning. EEEWWWW! They give me the heebie jeebies.
haha! Emily I love your writing. By the way, I completely agree. A couple months ago I saw one (about a foot away from my face!) on the wall as I was on my way to the bathroom. Pretty sure my life flashed before my eyes. These things are supposed to like dark damp corners. Why he was just sitting there menacingly in the middle of my wall, I cannot guess. Surely, as you say, evil is afoot (and with many feet).
And how long was the one that you saw??? That is really disgusting. Maybe they are edible & so they aren't evil to some people... I am sure they are worshipped somewhere.
Oh.my.gosh. I did not even know such a thing existed. Now I must add them to my list of "things a place must not have in the region if I am going to live there."
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