Generosity

Remember her? This is the fabulous Kate Winslet as Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility. Love.

There's lots to adore about Jane Austen but I don't think you can get much better than her at characterization. There are even lots of books based on her books and characters - like this one:



Honestly, not the greatest book ever written, but the movie adaptation included this little gem of a quote about Marianne:

- I understand why Colonel Brandon goes for Marianne. And it's not 'cause she's young. It's because she's generous with herself. She's willing to risk her heart. No rules, no fear.
- And Willoughby tramples her.
- She just picked the wrong guy.

Perfect.

I've had this quote bouncing around in my head a lot for the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking about gratitude and generosity and how they are kind of twins. I mean, if you really feel gratitude, shouldn't it automatically make you generous? Like "Because I have been given much, I too must give"? But I find that this is not always so. At least not for me. I (especially lately) feel just so much gratitude for my blessings that's it's almost overwhelming sometimes. And yet, I notice that I pass up opportunities to be generous pretty often.

Some things are easier than others to be generous with - for example, if you feel rich, it's easy to be generous with your money and your stuff than if you feel poor. If you have a lot of time, it's not too hard to donate some of it to a good cause. There is room for improvement for me in both of these areas - rich or poor, too busy or relaxed... I find it all has a lot more to do with attitude than with your actual assets. You usually can afford to give more than you want to think you can.

But the generosity I would most like to improve on is Marianne's kind. I wish I were more generous with myself. Unlike Marianne, I am not fearless with my heart. I try to be fearless with my hubby and family - with people I already trust - but I worry that in many of my interactions I am kind of a turtle.

"Don't hurt me!"

But I think this is wrong of me. I have been given so much love, so much support and encouragement, why should I not pass some of it along? These are things that aren't that hard to give away, and yet there is the most danger of injury in this kind of generosity (like what happened to poor Marianne). I guess that's why it's hard for me. If you donate $10 to Haiti earthquake relief, no one is going to throw it back at you and say, "Your money's not good enough!"

So my new goal is to try to be more generous with myself (and my time and my money and my stuff). Nothing I can do in this life will ever make me truly worthy of all the amazing blessings I've received and all the love that gets poured all over me every day. But passing some of it along with a little more readiness and a little less stinginess would certainly be a good start. That's what I think.